From Michelle Malkin.com
I cooked up a little quiz for all these skin-deep diversity types and have invited my fellow “journalists of color” to show us their true colors. Feel free to send the test to your favorite mainstream media journalists and ask them for their scores. Test-takers get five points for every statement they mark “YES:”
1. I have never voted for a Democrat in my life.
False. I’ve voted for some Democrats in some local elections. I thought for sure I would vote Democrat in the 2004 race, until I watched the Democratic National Convention. Kerry is an idiot, a hypocrite, and—if you believe the Swift Boat Veterans (which I do)—a liar.
2. I think my taxes are too high.
True. Our current system is not a government-funding scheme—as is intended by our Constitution—but a wealth-redistribution scheme. I would join a revolution to get rid of our current scheme in favor of a flat tax.
3. I supported Bill Clinton’s impeachment.
False. The guy had sex with someone who wasn’t Hillary. And then lied about it. So what?
4. I voted for President Bush in 2000.
True. I wanted so badly—as I do again this year—to vote for anybody other than Bush. But nobody wants to put up a decent and electable candidate—now or then. Sigh.
5. I am a gun owner.
True. We own a deer rifle and a Chinese air rifle. The deer rifle is used to shoot deer. Or someone who might break into our home. The Chinese air rifle makes for fun target practice in the backyard. And for shooting possums and grackles.
I used to own several shot guns, but sold them back when I was in college.
6. I support school voucher programs.
True. But I really don’t care. We don’t have kids. I couldn’t care less about where others send their kids. The further away from me the better is a good general rule though.
7. I oppose condom distribution in public schools.
True. But again, one of those things I don’t really care about too much since I don’t have kids. Like the wise-and-learned Jason, I think they are acceptable for demonstration purposes in a sex-ed course. But I think that things that are distributed in school (and paid for with my way-over-the-top property tax) should be limited to those that are necessary for the curriculum or for activities that take place on campus. Teenage sex does not fall into either category.
8. I oppose bilingual education.
False. Except for the “bilingual” ones that are really “we speak Spanish all the time so that you don’t have to learn English and can continue to be segregated from the rest of America” bilingual education classes—which appear to be the norm here in North Mexico…errr, I mean Texas.
The goal of bilingual education should be to teach students who do not know English well enough to participate and succeed in a normal* classroom how to speak English. Bilingual education should not be teaching History, Math, or Science in Spanish, Mandarin, or Pig Latin. Teach these kids to speak and read English.
* For the sake of this question, I define ‘normal’ as a classroom where English is the only language used…with the obvious and logical exception of language classes and any other class where the instruction is in English, except where the subject is in a foreign language (such as Science classes, where, by all means, use Latin as needed).
9. I oppose gay marriage.
False. The Libertarian in me cannot oppose this. I don’t care if any two (or more) people want to get married. Nor should our government. It’s not their job. The government needs to get their noses and morals out of our bedrooms and stick to those things that the Constitution dictates they worry about.
10. I want Social Security privatized.
True. The government’s had their shot at it. And fucked it up so badly it’s about to implode upon itself. Let’s give free enterprise a crack at it.
11. I believe racial profiling at airports is common sense.
True. Profiling works and is a useful tool in crime-prevention. If certain crimes are statistically perpetrated by a specific demographic in certain places, at certain times, or under certain conditions, then why the fuck wouldn’t you look more closely at people who fit that criteria as a means of crime prevention?
The Supreme Court in Terry vs. Ohio (1968), ruled to allow the brief detention and search of persons by law enforcement officials when officers are acting upon reasonable suspicion that criminality is afoot. We should trust that most of our law enforcement officials are not racist bullies, but rather are acting on training, experience, and instinct. If you don’t believe this to be true of our law enforcement officials, then you are way too cynical and paranoid.
12. I shop at Wal-Mart.
True. But not so much any more. I probably haven’t been to Wal-Mart more than 3 times in the last 2 years. Most of our discount buying is now done in bulk at Cost-co.
13. I enjoy talk radio.
True. But primarily just sports talk radio. In fact, about 80% of the time that my radio is on, I’m listening to 1300 (AM) The Zone (all sports talk). Especially the Jim Rome Show.
Most other talk radio, especially of the political variety, makes me want to shoot people.
14. I am annoyed when news editors substitute the phrase “undocumented person” for “illegal alien.”
True. If you are here in our country without documentation you are both undocumented and illegal. I think we should emphasize the illegal aspect of it more than the undocumented.
15. I do not believe the phrase “a chink in the armor” is offensive.
True. I had to stop and think for a moment as to why anybody would consider that phrase offensive. Sorry folks, but Webster’s defines ‘chink’ as “A narrow opening, such as a crack or fissure.” Perfectly good word here. And if you take offense to it…lighten up. Seriously lighten up.
16. I eat meat.
True. Humans are omnivores. I am a human. Therefore I eat meat. I think that people who don’t eat meat or any other animal bi-products (strict vegans) because 1) it’s immoral — well, these people are idiots, because it’s called a food chain. And we’re on top; 2) it’s unhealthy — are uninformed and incapable of clear and rational thought, probably due to a lack of animal protein in their diets. Sure, vegetarians live, on average, 6 years longer than non-vegetarians…but I’ll gladly trade in those six years for a lifetime of cheeseburger bliss.
Seriously…to each their own…I just think vegans are weirdoes, and I’m a bit mistrustful and suspicious of them. Most vegans I know probably also disagree with me on #15 and #11.
17. I believe O.J. Simpson was guilty.
True. Anybody who doesn’t is an idiot. If you don’t believe OJ killed Nicole and Ron, then you probably also believe that Scott Peterson and Mark Hacking had nothing to do with the deaths of their wives.
18. I cheered when I learned that Saddam Hussein had been captured.
True. And a resounding “Hell Yeah.” I think I also rendered a quick salute to all the Marines and other soldiers involved, and then gave a quick middle-finger salute to all the war protestors and other anti-war liberals. If their boy had won in 2000, Saddam would not only NOT be captured, but would still be ruling Iraq.
19. I cry when I hear “Proud to be an American” by Lee Greenwood.
False. But the Star Spangled Banner can still get me at times.
20. I don’t believe the New York Times.
False. Not everything they report, granted. But then again, I don’t ever believe 100% of anything that anybody tells me. Everybody has an agenda and a motive. Besides, most of what I read the New York Times for is sports info on the New York Yankees. Now, why wouldn’t I believe it when they report that last night’s game was called because of rain?
SCORE: 70*
Ok…I admit…I have no idea what the score means. Or where it places me on the “Media Diversity” matrix. But I’m guessing it’s somewhere about the 70th percentile.
