It’s over. Well, except for the inevitable lawsuits. But President Bush has won re-election. Apparently most Americans feel that he is the Right man, at the Right time, to fight this Righteous war.

So, we here at Urban:Grounds have some advice for the Democrats, assorted Liberals, and the Media Spin Machine today:

1. Concession Speech — Mr. Kerry, do the right thing. Our country has been greatly divided. You can do much for reconciliation by not dragging out the inevitable outcome of this election. This morning, right after your morning cuppa, get in front of your supporters, thank them for all they have done, and ask that they now join you in supporting our President. Concede gracefully and immediately, Mr. Kerry. It’s not the least you can do…it’s the most.
2. Dan Rather — I watched you last night grow angrier, more confused, and increasingly irritable as you began to understand that the unimaginable was happening, despite yours and CBS’s best attempts to deliver your 5%. Mr. Rather, you lied to us throughout the course of this election. You made stuff up. You omitted important facts. Last night, I fully expected that your head was going to explode if you were forced to announce that President Bush had won re-election.

   So, before that happens, to save some unlucky CBS custodian from having to mop up bits and pieces of your grey matter—I implore you to do the right thing: Resign. Effective immediately. Admit that you sacrificed your journalistic credibility in exchange for a Kerry Presidency. And as with Mr. Kerry, it is time for you to step aside.

3. To the numerous Lefties who threatened to ‘leave the US if President Bush wins re-election’ — Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way to France, Germany, or some other place that doesn’t give a rats ass about the realities of our war on terror. Here’s just a few select quotes from just one heavily Liberal discussion forum:
   

   I decided to take a sick day. I’ll be spending it looking for overseas jobs. And also husbands, if anyone wants to hook me up.

   I’m considering myself a citizen of the State of Washington, not the US, due to irreconcilable differences with the majority of the national electorate.

   I have never been so scared or sickened by my country as I am this morning. I would seriously leave if I could, because I am tired of being demonized by the fucking Jesus freaks for thinking just perhaps not everyone wants to be bulldozed over by them.

   Ah, nothing like rational discourse from the left.

   If these idiots truly hate America so much, you would expect the U-haul rental centers and the International hubs of every major airport to be runneth over with over-the-hill hippies and brainwashed college kids. But the reality is, that they won’t give up the good life. Despite all their posturing. Just as they don’t have the intestinal fortitude to put on a uniform, pick up a rifle, and do their part to protect this country, neither will they have the courage to back up their own hate-filled rhetoric.

4. If you’re not going to leave, then do the right thing, and take Jeff Jarvis’s Post-election Peace Pledge. Seriously, that much anger and hatred can’t be good for you. Take a few deep breaths, take a look around you, and promise to stop the craziness that has become the hallmark of the Democratic Party.

The fine folks over at TruthLaidBare have a few other suggestions for Mr. Kerry on the day after he lost what he’s been working towards since 1971:

• Tell Edwards to go fetch you some coffee. Suggested phrasing: “Since you couldn’t deliver any damned electoral votes, at least you can bring me my f****ng Starbucks.”
• Take a good hard look at the supposed battleground that is Ohio. You’re down by 136,221. According to the Secretary of State, there are only 135,149 provisional ballots as of this morning. How does that math look to you? Even if the provisional list is incomplete and more come in, what do you think the chances of successfully chery-picking challenges to make up your gap? Go ask John E, he’s a lawyer. We’ll wait.
• Remember that little scandal in 2000 about the popular vote? Stare at these numbers for a few minutes and think about how much fun you’ll have with all your challenges given this as a backdrop:

  Bush 58,241,287 51%
  Kerry 54,691,010 48%

  That’s a 3.5 million vote gap, friend. Do you really want to be a “selected-not-elected” President who sues himself to power — assuming for a second you’d win if you tried, which you won’t.