An Action Figure’s POW Diary

Dear Iraqi freedom fighters insurgents desperate terrorists,

Today, the world fears you a little less than we did yesterday. In fact, we are openly laughing at you and mocking you.

If you read nothing else about the action figure toy that was ‘captured’ by Iraqi terrorists yesterday, read this POW diary of Capt. John “Cody” Adams:

I tried to remember my training. My old drill sergeant, G.I. Joe, had put me through worse than this. “Are you gonna MOR yet, maggot?” he would scream, as he tied me to the wheel of a 10-speed Schwinn. (MOR: Melted On Request.) ‘Sir, no, sir!” I would scream, even as the gravel scraped the paint off my face. He pushed me and prodded me, but he made me the action figure I am today. Just before Water Survival training, he gave me a piece of advice I’ll always remember: “Son, when you get right down to it, you have no nerve endings.”

Absolutely hysterical. Go read the entire thing. Now.