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Martha Stewart’s Home Confinement

…Is a Joke

I like Martha Stewart—or, more accurately, I don’t dislike her. But let’s be honest here; the second phase of her punishment—after being convicted of obstructing justice and lying to the government—is a joke.

For the next five months, Stewart must wear an electronic anklet so authorities can track her every move. But she is allowed to receive her $900,000 salary again and can leave home for up to 48 hours a week to work, shop or run other approved errands.

So, she can go out for 48 hours a week, but must return home to her 153-acre estate each evening? Poor Martha. How will she be able to endure?

While in home confinement, Stewart will be free to entertain colleagues, neighbors, friends and relatives - as long as they’re not criminals. Convicted felons aren’t allowed to consort with other convicted felons.

Oh, that’s how she’ll endure her home-confinement punishment—she’ll throw fabulous dinner parties. If she can’t go out with her friends…she’ll just have them all over for Batter Fried Stuffed Squash Blossoms and Lamb Medallions with Black Olive Wine Sauce.

Hell, I haven’t even committed a crime…but I so would if I knew I could be confined to Martha Stewarts home as a punishment.

Posted by Robbie Cooper on Friday, March 4th, 2005 | Trackback |

6 Responses to “Martha Stewart’s Home Confinement”

She’ll also be starring in a reality show, a version of “The Apprentice” where she fills the Donald Trump role. Oh, the horror.

Left by Jason on March 4th, 2005 at 2:06 pm

House Arrest: It’s a Good Thing.

Sorry. Had to….

Left by Tony Bender on March 4th, 2005 at 5:42 pm

Are you arguing against house arrest in general or just for people who have really nice houses?

Left by Preston on March 6th, 2005 at 5:57 pm

Wasn’t arguing about the validity of house arrest in general…just in this specific case.

House arrest is supposed to be a lenient alternative to prison time; but it’s still supposed to bear some semblance to punishment.

In Martha’s case…any semblance to her continuing to be punished is just an illusion; words on paper. My argument is that they should either keep her in prison for another five months or just remove her little anklet…becuase the current punishment is a joke.

Left by Robbie on March 7th, 2005 at 9:32 am

Well, I’d be inclined to punish people caught in insider trading for a longer sentence than 5 months. But the fact that there seems to be selective enforcement of the law gives me a bit of sympathy for her.

However, it seems unfair to punish her _more_ than the average joe just because she is rich and lives in a mansion. It’s class warfare, I tell you! Republicans- always trying to stick it to a successful entrepreneur. :)

Left by Preston on March 7th, 2005 at 8:40 pm

For the record, I don’t think Martha should have gone to prison at all.

But that doesn’t invalidate my argument that her “alternative to prison” sentence isn’t a joke.

Left by Robbie on March 7th, 2005 at 9:04 pm

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