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I’d Kick Terrell Owens’ Ass

And I’ll do it on National television, too

Terrell Owens is batshit crazyTerrell Owens won’t return to the Philadelphia Eagles this season after being suspended for…well, for being the biggest cancer ever in the history of all of team sports.

More specifically, T.O. was booted from the Eagles team for getting into a fist fight with the Eagles’ Team Ambassador, Hugh Douglas. Afterwards, T.O. went into the locker room calling out anybody else on the team who wanted some of him.

Unfortunately, nobody on the team took T.O. up on his offer (tell me that 6′ 04″, 335 lb Artis Hicks wouldn’t eat Terrell Owens alive in a fight…I mean literally. Not to mention the freaking hurt DE Jevon Kearse would have inflicted on the prima donna WR).

You know what, T.O.? I’ll fight you, you whiney-ass, over-paid, thug.

Get your agent and your PR guy to call the Fox television network and set it up (you know Fox would jump all over this). Tell them a middle-class, average-Joe, white-guy sports fan wants to get into a boxing ring with you on national television to take you up on your challenge to fight anybody who wants a piece of you. This thing would be a ratings smash.

We’ll fight for each other’s weekly pay-checks. We’ll see how hungry and how “bad” you really are.

You put up your $200,000 weekly pay-check, and I’ll put up my somewhat-lesser weekly check. For years, you’ve been telling fans to fuck off with your all-about-me, “Show me the money” ingrate act. Since your teammates—who you’ve been telling to fuck off for years, too— couldn’t (oh, but you know they wanted to…) plant your ass in the dirt, I’d like the opportunity to finally answer the taunts you’ve been waving in everybody’s faces.

I’ll even fight you in Philly, since I’m sure the house would be packed with people hoping you get your ass handed to you.

When your people set it up though, could you make sure they schedule it for a Friday or Saturday night…I work during the week.

*Al Franken, if you or your people are still reading my blog, the exact same offer goes out to you—name the night and the venue. When I win, I’ll donate the purse to the Gloria Wise Boys and Girls home.

***
Cross-posted at The Political Teen and The Crazy Rants of Samantha Burns (courtesy of Open Trackbacks).

Posted by Robbie Cooper on Monday, November 7th, 2005 | Trackback |

8 Responses to “I’d Kick Terrell Owens’ Ass”

how about sending that invite to him rather than puffing up your chest in the vacuum of your blog? Ditto for Al Franken. Send off a proposal. I’d pay big money to watch you get beat down. Don’t you go off on a rant about the violence of the left in your klan story? You sound like a real pacifist yourself.

Left by f.u. on November 8th, 2005 at 12:39 pm

Oh, I’m not a pacifist by any means. I boxed for 6 years. I joined the US Army during Desert Storm. I’ve been in more fist-fights than I can remember.

No, I’ve never claimed to be a pacifist, and you’re the first whose ever implied that I might be.

There’s a huge difference between a fight between two people when you both agree to it or are prepared to fight. But I’ll always give the loud-mouthed jerk at the bar the opportunity to walk away from it too. I won’t fight a man who won’t or isn’t prepared to fight back.

What’s hypocritical is to say you are a peace-loving, tolerant person, and then hide in a crowd to throw rocks at a cop.

I’m standing here saying I’ll fight you if you’re man enough to step up. If you’re not…then I won’t attack you anyway.

You’ve obviously never been in a fist-fight. So I doubt you’d understand the subtle differences.

Oh, and for the record, TO might be a good match for 2-3 rounds. But I’d eventually beat him. Al Franken, on the other hand, wouldn’t last two minutes; it would be an extremely ugly and vicious knock out.

Left by Robbie on November 8th, 2005 at 12:54 pm

Ha ha… I’d love to see you fight al franken. you’ve made my day!! why are there so many liberals on this blog? Don’t they have their own?

Left by w on November 8th, 2005 at 1:30 pm

We liberals have to be here to educate the masses. I guess you want to fight Al because you can’t match him mentally.

Left by Coop1974a on November 8th, 2005 at 2:45 pm

With the dismal state of affairs in public education (which has been a hostage to liberal influence and philosophy for decades), I’d say that you Liberals have done a shit-poor job of “educating the masses” to this point.

I’m calling out Al Franken after watching him in this videos skit, in which a psychotic-looking Al tries to kick a man portraying a conservative reader in the groin, smashes a stool over his back, and grins as another man playing one of Franken’s fans cracks a bottle over the conservative’s head.

And for the time that Al Franken physically attacked a heckler at a Howard Dean rally? Or one of the many other times that Al has lost his temper and wanted to fight a conservative.

If Al truly wants to fight a conservative, I’d be glad to volunteer. It would make good TV (unless you’re a fan of Al’s). Especially if we could get Ann Coulter vs. Marueen Dowd on the undercard.

As far as matching him mentally? Hah. It’s telling that the Left has elevated this standup comedian as their intellectual deity. At the end of the day, Al would prefer the fist fight. At least that way he’d know what hit him.

Left by Robbie on November 8th, 2005 at 3:26 pm

heehee

Left by Anonymous on November 8th, 2005 at 4:51 pm

So I guess you like the no child left behind plan which is really no child brought forward. It’s funny that while Bush was Gov of Texas that he an his friend used Enron math to calculate the no child left behind figures. The party that you support is the same one that was responsible Iran-contra drug scandle this is fact some of the people involed even work in the white house today an were given pardons Bush Sr.

http://www.btinternet.com/~nlpwessex/Documents/hamiltoniran-contra.htm

Now the skit on the other hand is funny I love it. If Al won’t answer you I will any time that you would like we can go to the gym an get in the ring. An after that we can be friends an sit down have a drink.

P.S. Here is some good reading

http://mediamatters.org/

Left by Coop1974a on November 8th, 2005 at 7:38 pm

U WOULD NOT KICK .T.O ASS. HE WOULD KICK THE FUCK OUT OF YO ASS.THUN I WOULD CUM BEAT YO ASS.T.O. IS COOL TO ME.IT YALL WHO DONT LIKE HIM BECASEU HE SPEAKS HIS MIND.THAT WAY YALL BE GETTING BITCH AT WORK CASUE YAL L LET PEOPLE RUN OVER YALL.AND T.O. DONT.SO SHUT THE “FUCK UP”

Left by Anonymous on March 2nd, 2007 at 6:30 am

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