Tonight, Barbara Walters will present her list of the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2005.

Just for the record, the intransitive form of the verb fascinate means “to be irresistibly charming or attractive”.

Of the ten listed, only two are at all fascinating (Lance Armstrong and Condi Rice). And the list is also mis-named, as it should read the 10 Most Fascinating Americans of 2005, as not a single foreigner is listed (because we all know that nobody in the world is nearly as fascinating as Americans).

How the hell is Tom Cruise on this list? In The Pink Texas wonders the same thing (a little more emphatically, though):

Tom f*cking Cruise. Riddle me this, Maverick – what’s so fascinating about a gay Scientologist masquerading as a straight Scientologist and flaunting his fake relationship with a pregnant tween? Tom tells Barbara that he has bought his own sonogram machine! So he can watch “his” unborn child develop! I’ve got two words for you. Rosemary’s Baby.

Let’s just thank God that Mother Moonbat didn’t end up on that list (as she is neither charming nor particulary attractive).

Here is my list of the 10 Most Facinating People of 2005:

1. the American Soldier
2. Lance Armstrong
3. Michale Yon
4. Chief Justice John Roberts
5. Condi Rice
6. Joe Lieberman
7. Danika Patrick
8. Michelle Wie
9. Jack Nicklaus
10. *SFC Paul R. Smith

*SFC Paul Smith was killed in action in Iraq in 2003. However, his Medal of Honor was awarded in 2005. And he deserves the additional recongnition.

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MORE: Bryan Preston at Junkyard Blog has created his own Top 10 list as well…and he too has the American Soldier at the top of his list.