Ashlee Simpson Feeling Sexy

But still looking like a whore

We just started receiving Blender magazine in the mail (without having subscribed to it).

It’s simply the worst magazine I’ve ever thumbed through. It’s so bad, though, that it’s laughable. Like the current issue with Ashlee Simpson on the cover (to commemorate her 21st birthday).

It’s so hard not to jump all over this choice tidbit from the article:

I don’t like to look like a whore, but it’s nice to feel sexy.

Ashlee, maybe it’s looking like a whore that makes you feel sexy. Because every photo I’ve ever seen of you—and especially your Blender spread—you look like a cheap whore. You should feel cheap and embarrassed, not sexy.

But after reading more about your father and your breasts, I understand how you came to confuse looking like a whore and feeling sexy.

Blender asked Ashlee, “Is it strange to hear your father talk about your sister that way?” [refering to their father bragging about daughter Jessica's tits]. Ashlee’s response:

“My dad’s not saying it in a weird way”, Ashlee says. “It’s just something Jessica’s had to deal with her whole life. When we were younger, she would sing in church, just wearing a T-shirt, and people would be like, ‘She’s showing too much.’ She wasn’t: She’s just got big boobs. He’s standing up for her, if anything.”

“He doesn’t have to say it about me”, she adds. “But actually, I got lucky with my wonderful breasts. I feel like that’s my best asset.”

Well, you can’t sing. You can’t act. You’re whorish looking. You have zero self-esteem, and you come from an amazingly fucked up family. Yeah, I guess you might be right about your tits being your best asset.

But, just for the record Ashlee, a father talking about his daughter’s tits the way your Pop’s does? Not normal. And kind of creepy, too.

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