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Parents, children, and drinking: Who’s driving home?

I dropped into my favorite hole-in-the-wall Mexican bar/restaurant for lunch today. I usually sit at the bar because they let you have control of the remote controls, and I can watch the news or SportsCenter during lunch.

There’s a guy sitting at the bar with his young (looks about 6-7 years-old) daughter. As I’m sitting down, I hear him order another margarita from the bartender.

Two things:

  • If you’re having lunch with your daughter, sitting at the bar is not the best choice. Bars are for adults. There were plenty of tables and booths available in the restaurant.
  • More importantly, I assume your 7-year old daughter doesn’t have her driver’s license yet. Which means that after knocking back a few lunch-time ‘ritas, you put your daughter into a car and drove.

I don’t know how many times I’ve been out and seen a table where all the adults are boozing it while they have children in tow.

Every-now-and-then, I’ll say something along the lines of “Good thing you brought a designated driver”, and nod towards their children. Every-so-often someone will mouth off about “minding my own business”…but not too often. I’m a really big guy who looks like he might just punch you in the mouth for being mouthy. Besides, what can you possibly say to defend drinking and driving when you have children with you?

How is this guy ever going to be able to teach his daughter not to drink and drive when she finally gets her driver’s license?

If you take your children to bars, you’re a loser. If you take your children to a bar or restaurant and drink a few drinks, and then put the children into the car and climb behind the wheel, you’re an even bigger loser.

18 Responses to “Things that Bother Me: Vol. I”

Uh oh- how many ‘volumes’ of this series can we expect?

MYOB. I’m safe and legal after a couple beers (thought not more, of course), and my kids enjoy the local neighborhood bar, with its pinballs and shuffleboard game. You, of course, are free to eschew drinks when out with your kids, but keep your opinions to yourself. Loudmouth drunks are bad enough . . .

I wholeheartedly agree. Now, how about those idiot sperm or egg donors (obviously ot real parents) that drive (with their seatbelt on) with their childeren unbuckled jumping around the backseat? I am about to buy an sign that says, “So you say you love your kids?”

Oh yeah, HORNS ARE #1! (they would have scored on the drive that Vince lateraled (after being down) anyway)

Dan, I am not at all surprised that you are the type of parent who would take your kids to a bar. And while you might be within “legal” limits of intoxication after a couple of beers, your mental faculties are diminished.

As a former Paramedic, I saw way too many accidents and deaths — many involving innocent children — after the driver had just a “couple” of beers.

Preston — I’m not sure how many volumes there will be…but I’ve created a new category (TTBM) for them.

These will be non-political things that bother me, just things I observe throughout the day — like the guy this morning that I was riding my motorcycle behind. He mindlessly flicked his cigarette butt out the window and it missed hitting me in the face by about a foot.

People who litter bother me. People who throw cigarette butts out their windows when we’re having the worst drought in 50 years and hundreds of thousands of acres are burning up all across the country bother me more. People who nearly cause me to wreck trying to avoid hot cigarette butts bother me a lot too.

Preston -

Shouldn’t you get another hobby?

Dan -

You are just an idiot. Hope we don’t end up reading about you in the newspaper.

Michael-
Excuse me?

It obviously depends on the context but I’m with Dan. There are some bars with amusements (and food) that could be suitable for children. If there’s no food- I probably wouldn’t take a child- what would they be doing? It would be ok perhaps to take an infant if you are fortunate enough to live in a non-smoking city.

Having children shouldn’t relegate people to a ghetto. I think we need more places where people of different circumstances cross paths.

(The other disclaimer is, of course, the behavior of the children. If the kids can’t behave- don’t take the kids.)

I agree that there are some bar/restaurants where it is appropriate to take the entire family.

I don’t think kids should sit at the bar in these establishments, though. In fact, when I bartended at Bennigan’s while I was in college, we had a specific rule prohibiting anybody under the age of 21 from sitting at the bar — even if they were with their parents. We politely asked these people to have a seat at a table or booth.

In fact, I’ll have to check into it, but I believe that there might be a law in Texas to that effect.

Oh, the other thing — if you are at bar with your kids, and I’m sitting at the table next to you, don’t ask me to “watch my language” in front of your children. If you don’t want to subject your children to obscense and adult language, don’t take them to a bar. I promise not to cuss in front of them at church ar at their kiddy care center. But I won’t refrain in a bar.

I agree with you on the bar, and I agree with you on the fact that if you take them to places where rough language is acceptable, you don’t get to complain about rough language.

Thanks, sincerely, for your concern, Robbie, but your logic goes way too far. If I’m unable to drive, I’m unable to drive, right? If two beers is going to get me into an accident, then why should I be able to murder someone else’s kids? The fact that you left your kids at home doesn’t make the kids in the car you hit any less wounded, does it?

So, you’re either totally against ANY drinking and driving - a position I can respect, though don’t support - or it seems to me you’re being hypocritical here.

For what it’s worth, the kids are now 18 and 20, and have so far managed to survive my parenting skills in this and other regards.

Hey guys, I know this is my firt post but I felt compelled to add my $.02 ….

This is what I told my 19 year old sister-in-law after I caught her driving my car after drinking “only a few beers”… It doesn’t amount to a hill of beans whether or not you think you are okay to drive after a few beers. What matters most is what the police officer thinks and what his breathalizer and field sobriety tests tell him.

I agree, Christopher, that some people who drive drunk think they are okay to drive. But some people who think they are okay to drive are okay to drive. Again, unless you’re going to come out against any drinking at all while driving, this is a gray area, and Robbie’s initial post is wrong in its absolutism, IMHO.

BTW, in many states, 19 year-olds are not allowed to have any alcohol in their system while driving, so your sister-in-law may have been in legal trouble no matter how sober she felt she was.

Dan, I agree with you that there is a gray area (I too feel that most people know their own limits). However, I feel as if you’re missing my point. You may “think” or even “know” you are okay to drive after only a few. But none of that matters if Mr. Policeman doesn’t agree with you. Why risk it? Especially with kids in the car.

And you can count my state as one where the legal drinking age is 21. In no way do I condone underage drinking and that was even part of my lecture to her on the subject. I noted that she was extremely lucky to not only make it home but to not have had an accident or even worse.

Regardless, I still agree with Robbie’s post.

Respectfully,
Christopher in STL

Well, here’s one where I agree with Dan’s logic to some extent. If you’re going to drink, you’re going to have some degree of driving impairment and you could be the cause of an accident that could injure your kids or somebody else’s kids. As for taking kids in a bar/restaurant, so what really? I’ve seen much worse behavior from parents in the home. My daughter’s grown, but I plead guilty to have taken her with us to places where drinks are served and believe it or not, she turned out ok. And, furthermore, the drivers I fear most are those with cell phones glued to their ears and lips. I’ve nearly been whiped out more than once by them.

“wiped”..lol..I can’t stand spelling errors, especially my own!

What is worse than all of this is when I see some women driving in the passenger seat, holding their little 2 year old on their lap, with no restraint. Oddly enough, many of those women that I see doing this are from across the border. Thats a one way ticket through the windshield if that car gets hit.

Robbie, I guess that would be a reason for wearing a helmet. that way, when some jerk does throw something from the car, even if it hit you, the impact would be minimal.

Dan, Just let me know when your on the road, that way I can stay away as far as i can. Its people like you that cause 20,000 road fatalities a year. You are ignorant, selfish, and a dumbass.

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