Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has written an open letter to “the American People” in which, essentially, he implores us to step aside so he can wipe Israel (errr…the Zionist regime, I mean) from the face of the map. Oh, and he’s also graciously invited us all to convert to Islam.

CNN has the complete letter — unlike the Associated (with terrorists) Press, who — as pointed out by Meryl Yourish — has very selectively printed the “good” parts (good for terrorists, bad for Jooooooos).

Since Mr. Ahmadinejad was so nice to write me a letter, I thought it would be polite to write him back.

Dear Mahmoud (you don’t mind if I call you Mahmoud, do you? How about Mah-di, for short?),

I’ve had the opportunity to read your open letter to me and my fellow countrymen. Thank you for taking time out of your busy day (6:45 wake up to the screams of tortured dissenters, 7:15 hang college students, 8:30 tea with the Associated Press, 9:45 build nuclear bomb, 12:05 wipe Zionist regime from map, etc.) to write me that very heartfelt message.

Here’s my carefully thought out response:

Go fuck yourself. With a bayonett. I hope you die of syphillis. By the end of the week.

Kindest regards,

Robbie

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Michelle Malkin has a roundup of some other responses to Mahmoud’s request for a dialog with Americans.