The 5 Worst People of 2006

There are only a few weeks left in 2006. And you know what that means: Best and Worst of the Year lists.

Last year, to counter TIME magazine’s “Person of the Year” award, I started my own “Worst Person of the Year” award. Last year’s winner (loser) was New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin.

Here is my list of the 5 Worst People of 2006:

1. The NY Times and the Associated Press (tie) — the NY Times for illegally and repeatedly printing leaked classified information that aids and abets terrorists, and the AP for not only spreading terrorist propaganda in the guise of “news”, but for sometimes just making up pro-terrorist/anti-American/anti-military bullshit and printing it as “news”.
2. OJ Simpson — for writing a book called “If I did it”, which describes how he did would have killed Nicole and Ron. You know…if he had actually done it (wink, wink).
3. Sen. John Kerry and Rep. Charles Rangel (tie) — for denigrating and insulting the brave men and women of our military. These two blowhards have absolutely zero understanding of the concept of “selfless service”.
4. Illegal Aliens (specifically, Hispanic illegal aliens) — for shitting on the American flag, our nation’s laws, and our generousness every time they took to the streets to demand rights that they can’t have nor deserve.
5. Former-Congressman Mark Foley — for abusing his position of power and authority in regards to sexually preying on male Congressional pages.

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DISHONORABLE MENTION:

• Fred Phelps — for spreading the most vile kind of hate and prejudice while protesting at the funerals of dead US soldiers.
• Code Pink — for being almost as vile as Fred Phelps, but without Phelps’ honesty about how he really feels about the military. Protesting at Walter Reed hospital, where our nation’s defenders come home to heal from their war injuries, and trying to do it in the same lying-breath as they say “we support the troops” is just a step above continuing the protest at the funerals of those who don’t make it.
• Doug Herzog — the president of Comedy Central, for refusing to let South Park show a cartoon of Mohammed on his network.
• Ray Nagin — the Mayor of Chocolate City and a General idiot.
• The city of San Francisco — for being the most unapologetically anti-military city in the entire United States.
• Fidel Castro — for not dying (as far as we know as of this writing), and for costing me first place in my Death Pool fantasy league.
• Keith Olbermann — for consistently creating his weekly “worst person in the world” weekly segment on his show, which has included Anne Coulter (50 times), President Bush (38 times), Karl Rove (8 times), and Bill O’Reilly (52 times), but never once including a single actual bad, or worst person (like “Islamic jihadists”, Osama Bin Laden, Rep. William Jefferson, or Rosie O’Donnel).

OTHERS:

Pessimus Poplus:

Everyone who used alcoholism or drug use as an excuse for horrible behavior, and then used rehab as an apology for that behavior.

That’s right, sugar tits, whether you’re a crazy, anti-semitic actor, a spoiled walking skeleton, or a two-faced Republican, drinking/drug-use doesn’t excuse you from being one of the year’s Worst People.

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NOTE — My list is intentionally limited to just the United States. My list of the worst people in the World wouldn’t include a single American…too many jihadists who are willing to blow up children and women in the name of Allah to even begin naming them all.