When Bill Simmons is writing about basketball, there are few people anywhere who are better at what they do than Bill is at what he does. His insights and his style are conistently entertaining.

If you’re a fan of basketball, or enjoy good sports writing, make sure and read Bill Simmons very lengthy post on ESPN Page 2 on the highs and lows of last weekend’s NBA All-Star weekend in Las Vegas.

A few highlights:

To the craziest rumor of the weekend: That rapper E-40 was shot to death on Friday night, leading to roughly 10,000 “Who the hell is E-40?” conversations between 99.9 percent of the white people in Las Vegas on Saturday night. Apparently E-40 is still alive and well. Huge relief. I don’t know if we could have handled a loss like that during the Hip-Hop Woodstock.

To my dramatic blackjack comeback that same day. Facing a $650 deficit for the weekend and getting creamed at a $25 table by an ice queen dealer named Latecia, she kept trying to put me away and I kept fighting her off, almost like how Jeter fouls off 10-11 straight 95-mph heaters to keep an at-bat alive. [...]

[...] I swear, I thought she was going to start screaming, “You can take your five-dollar chip and shove it up your butt! Come back to the table, you wuss! Come back right now! I WILL RUIN YOU!” Instead, she thanked me and probably eviscerated the next 300 people who sat down at her table. It’s not often that you get to turn the tables on a legitimate closer in Vegas — this was like taking Rivera deep in the ninth. I just wish I had a witness who spoke English.

To the All-Star Game for sucking big-time for the sixth straight year. In this case, you couldn’t blame the players because of the overwhelming stench of weed that suffocated the entire city and turned everyone into stammering zombies.

[on noted social trends] A surprising number of people wear sunglasses at all times, even inside clubs so dark that people can barely see even if they’re NOT wearing sunglasses. I can’t figure this out.