Internet bully and all around tough guy, Ezra Klein (also known facetiously as the Respectable Liberal Blogger [RLB] Ezra Klein) — has challenged conservative blogger Michelle Malkin to a debate:
I will debate Michelle Malkin anytime, anywhere, in any forum (save HotAir TV, which she controls), on the particulars of S-CHIP.
Michelle laughed at his challenge:
“Debate” Ezra Klein? What a perverse distraction and a laughable waste of time that would be. And that’s what they really want, isn’t it? To distract and waste time so they can foist their agenda on the country unimpeded.
This was a lose-lose waste of time proposition anyway — neither was going to change their opinions, neither was going to concede defeat, and neither would have constrained themselves to the rules of the debate anyway.
There could be no undisputed winner.
Tyrone Steels II at The Moderate Voice understands this, too:
So this had to be a stunt by both Klein and Malkin to heat the lava and drive even more traffic to their sites and their satellites, right? Because both of them KNEW that the debate would never happen, right? I hope so. Because this type of “blogger challenge but not a real challenge” fatigues me. Maybe I’m the one with the problem. Maybe I’m not seeing the logic in such a challenge. Maybe I’m the crazy one in thinking that a pay-per-view event between Klein and Malkin, dressed in armor suits, and hitting each other with war hammers would be infinitely more interesting than a “debate that would never happen and reaction shots via the blog”.
Which gave me an idea —
I’d like to challenge Ezra — not to a debate in which there could be no winner — but to a Charity Boxing Match. That’s right — man-against-man (though Ezra usually prefers to pick fights with women) in a ring with gloves. You can even wear headgear if your mother insists.
Here’s my proposal to you Ezra:
- You name the time and place. We’ll do it in your backyard if you’d like.
- We’ll have a certified referee for the bout, and we’ll fight in a regulation ring using regulation equipment.
- We’ll abide by the rules of the sport. No eye gouging, no kicking, and no pulling hair.
- We’ll each put up 1 months pay or $10,000 dollars (as I’m not sure if you’re actually gainfully employed or not) — which ever is greater. The loser will donate their $10K stake to pay for one or more needy family’s private medical insurance. The winner gets to keep his money.
- The fight will be scheduled for five 3-minute rounds. Though, if I were a wagering man, I wouldn’t bet that it goes that distance.
- The fight will be webcast live on a pay-per-view feed, with all proceeds going to the charity of the winner’s choice.
- If you’re feeling especially confident, I’d even agree to the loser shutting down his blog and agreeing to never blog again (optional, but I’d be for it).
- When we’re done with our match, if you’d still like to debate S-CHIP, I’d be glad to oblige and humor you.
So, what say you Ezra?
This is a win-win-win — you get to prove you’re more than an Internet tough guy AND you get to whoop a conservative (live) in front of all of your admirers AND a needy family will get $10K to help pay for private health insurance. Plus, unlike your Debate-with-Michelle idea, there would be absolutely NO doubt as to the winner.
Let me know, and I’ll have my people get with your people to work out the details and the contract.
Even though Ezra is only 23-years old and (should be) at his peak of physical fitness and I’m an old disabled Veteran nearly twice his age, I still like my odds…
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UPDATE:
Well. That was easy. Welcome Ezra Klein readers!
Look, I don’t harbor your boy any ill will, I’m sure he’s a nice enough kid. And this isn’t about wanting to hurt him. And it definitely isn’t about “defending” Mrs. Malkin. She’s more than capable of that herself.
Boxing is fun and entertaining. And it’s a good way to raise money for charity. Think about the children!
Besides, Liberals are always wanting to give other people’s money away to pay for their social programs, and (as our mostly Conservative military forces are evidence of) on the other hand Liberals are almost never willing to actually fight for the things that they believe in.
So I just wanted to give Ezra the chance to do both — take my money for social programs (or put his own money where his mouth is) and actually (and literally) fight for something he believes in. Is anybody here really opposed to raising $10K to help pay a needy family’s health care cost?
Lighten up folks…
UPDATE II:
My favorite quote from Ezra’s comments section:
Maybe I’m a little crazy, or maybe it’s the influence of Markos, but I will seriously fistfight any of these guys, anytime, anywhere. Any crazy conservative commenters live near columbus?
Posted by: Matt | Oct 11, 2007 10:25:35 PM
I’m not sure what’s funnier — the fact that this guy is advocating the very thing that many are saying “separates the progressives from the regressives” or that his violent tendencies are influenced by the flea-of-a-man Markos Moulitsas Zúniga.
Again folks — a charity boxing match has nothing to do with violence. It’s the sweet science and a gentleman’s sport. I didn’t challenge Ezra to a street brawl or a gang fight. I challenged him to a competitive sport in order to raise money for his pet cause.
I could use block letters and big crayons if any of you need further spelling-out.
UPDATE III:
Since Ezra won’t box me for charity, I’ll once again strap on my cycling shoes and ride for charity in the BP MS 150 Bike Tour.
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Edited to add: this post was in no way sanctioned or endorsed by Mrs. Malkin. It’s just my way of poking fun at another Leftard. I thought that would go without saying. But apparently not.
Is this a meta-joke about warbloggers? Otherwise, we’re left with Ezra challenging Malkin to a debate, Malkin refusing, and some internet tough guy piling on — apparently to make fun of himself. Weird.
Left by Victor Davis's Spartan Fantasy on October 11th, 2007 at 3:17 pm