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75 Skills Every Man Should Master

Esquire magazine has a silly fluff list about 75 Skills Every Man Should Master.

It’s mostly a bunch of crap that I think all men should know how to do — by the age of 18. But — by no means would I call them the 75 most essential skills every man should master. In fact, most of them have nothing at all to do with being a man.

Amongst the fluff, there were a few that I thought it important for a man to know —

  • 13. Throw a punch. and 53. Sometimes, kick some ass. [Sometimes you can't talk your way out of or simply walk away from trouble. Sometimes you have to defend yourself (or your friends and family). And sometimes a man simply needs a good ass kicking. Figuratively and literally.]
  • 23. Be loyal. [Be more than loyal. Be exceptionally and unwaveringly loyal to your friends, family, job, and country. Of those, you can be a little less loyal to the job. The others are non-negotiable.]
  • 24. Know his poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope. Brand, amount, style, fast, like so: [For me, it would be, "Powers*, rocks, two ice cubes only." (*Powers Irish Whiskey)]
  • 43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help. [Actually, men should be much more handy and capable around the house than just these three items --- but they're a good start. A man should have tools. And know how to use them. Real men don't call other men and pay them to do the work that they should be doing around their own house.]
  • 52. Step into a job no one wants to do. [Probably the most solid and understated bit of advice in this entire list. ]
  • 63. Deliver a eulogy. Take the job seriously. It matters. Speak first to the family, then to the outside world. Write it down. Avoid similes. Don’t read poetry. Be funny. [And be strong. There was time for tears when your friend/family died. There is time for tears after the funeral. But if you are asked or expected to deliver a eulogy, be a man and be strong and don't break down and cry or whimper during it.]
  • 68. Find his way out of the woods if lost. [Too many guys I know can't find their way out of the a parking garage, much less the woods. Survival skills are very manly. Don't wait until you need them to learn and practice them. Go camping. Go hiking. Go rafting. Be adventurous. Yes, I know this would require you to put down the controller and leave your fantasy roll playing game or the latest release of Grand Theft Auto for a while...]
  • 69. Tie a knot. [Actually, be able to tie an assortment of knots. And know how to tie the appropriate knot for the situation. Need a non-binding knot to form a loop? Learn a bow line (probably the most important knot to learn). But make sure you can also tie a square knot, a half-hitch, a double-half-hitch (also called 2 half-hitches), a slipknot, and some good lashing knots.]
  • 74. Know some birds.

Posted by Robbie Cooper on Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 | Trackback |

One Response to “75 Skills Every Man Should Master”

Esquire, hunh?
I prefer the Code of the West.

The Code of the West
A Cowboy’s Guide to Life by Texas Bix Bender

* A smart ass just don’t fit in a saddle.
* After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: when you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Always take a good look at what you’re about to eat. It’s not so important to know what it is, but it’s critical to know what it was.
* Ask no more and give no less than honesty, courage, loyalty, generosity, and fairness.
* Don’t get mad at somebody who knows more ‘n you do. It ain’t their fault.
* Don’t let so much reality into your life that there’s no room left for dreamin’.
* Don’t never interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none.
* Don’t squat with yer spurs on!
* Don’t worry about bitin’ off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.
* Generally, you ain’t learnin’ nothing when your mouth’s a-jawin’.
* Go after life as if it’s something that’s got to be roped in a hurry before it gets away.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
* If it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t.
* If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
* If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
* If you want to forget all your troubles, take a little walk in a brand-new pair of high-heeled ridin’ boots.
* If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
* It don’t matter so much how long a ride you have, as how well you ride it.
* It don’t take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
* Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier ‘n puttin’ it back.
* Makin’ it in life is kinda like bustin’ broncs: you’re gonna get thrown a lot. The simple secret is to keep gettin’ back on.
* Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
* Never ask a man the size of his spread.
* Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.
* Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you’re out of good whiskey.
* Never grumble. It makes you about as welcome as a sidewinder in a cow camp.
* Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
* Never miss a chance to rest your horse.
* Never miss a good chance to shut up.
* Never smack a man who’s chewin’ tobacco.
* No matter who says what, don’t believe it if it don’t make sense.
* Talk low, talk slow, and don’t say too much.
* Tellin’ a man to git lost and makin’ him do it are two entirely different propositions.
* The best way to have a quiche for dinner is to make it up and put it in the oven to bake at 325 degrees. Meanwhile, get out a large T-bone, grill it, and when it’s done, eat it. As for the quiche, continue to let it bake, but otherwise ignore it.
* The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.
* The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.
* The first thing to do when you get up in the morning is put on your Stetson.
* The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket.
* The wildest critters live in the city!
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* Trust everybody in the game, but always cut the cards.
* When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person, don’t be surprised if they learn their lesson.
* When you’re throwin’ your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
* Write it in your heart. Stand by the code, and it will stand by you.
* You don’t need decorated words to make your meanin’ clear. Say it plain and save some breath for breathin’.

Left by no2liberals on May 7th, 2008 at 5:53 pm

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