Happy freakin’ Mexican Day!  Otherwise known as Cinco de Mayo.

Over the last few years, the “holiday” has become as much about protests and boycotts as much as it has about whatever it is that they were celebrating to begin with.

So, in honor of the boycotts and protests from our ungrateful southern guests invaders, here’s my plans for celebrating Cinco De Mayo this year (copied from my boycott in 2006, when Mexican’s held a “Day without Immigrants” protest nationwide):

• Not dine at any Mexican restaurants. No enchiladas from Maudi’s. No margaritas from Chewy’s.
• I will have a ceremonial and symbolic burning of the Mexican flag down at the lake — while drinking Budweiser beer and listening to Toby Keith and Hank Williams Jr.
• I’ll stage a protest in front of one of the local taquerias, where I’ll loudly blare the National Anthem — in English, of course — on loud speakers.
• I’ll make my own paper mache piñata that looks like Mexican President Felipe De Jesus Calderon Hinojosa, and I’ll take it to the local LULAC office, hang it from a tree, and beat it until the it’s bounty of Chiclets® pour out through the effigy’s belly button.
• Write all of my local, state, and national representatives, and implore them to get tough on illegal immigration into our country.