I thought this must have been an Onion parody when I first read it. But then I realized that Chris Satullo of the Philadelphia Inquirer was serious:
A not-so-glorious Fourth
Put the fireworks in storage.
Cancel the parade.
Tuck the soaring speeches in a drawer for another time.
This year, America doesn’t deserve to celebrate its birthday. This Fourth of July should be a day of quiet and atonement.
For we have sinned.
Which makes him an unhinged, America-hating libtard. He’s exactly the kind of guy that makes it impossible for me to “reach across the aisle” to Leftards.
Our love of America and our dreams for our nation are diametrically opposed.
You know what, Chrissy — on Independence Day (that’s what it’s called. Not “the Fourth” — you wouldn’t refer to Christmas Day as merely “the 25th”, would you? Never mind…), you just lock yourself in your dark cellar, wrap yourself in your Che t-shirt, burn a flag in your backyard, or do whatever it is that will assuage your anti-American liberal guilt.
Me? I’m going to celebrate loudly and proudly with beer, hot dogs, Apple-fucking-pie, lots of red, white, and blue, and with lots and lots of other proud Americans.
You can go fuck yourself.
Seriously. I don’t know how you can stand to even live in a country you despise so much. You should really consider getting the fuck out. Before your head explodes.
_______
OTHERS:
HolyCoast:”Folks, if anyone wonders why newspapers are failing at an amazing rate, all you have to do is read the rest of this self-loathing America-hating column to see the reason. What a moron.”
Is your love of America really dependent on “Abu Ghraib. Guantanamo. CIA secret prisons. “Rendition” of prisoners to foreign torture chambers”?
I would have thought you’d be more upset at the Bush Administration for making a liar out of your 4 years of claiming that the US does not engage in torture.
Left by Preston on July 3rd, 2008 at 6:21 am