I’m the commissioner of our Fantasy Football League (this will be our 10th year) and we’re having our draft tomorrow at the home of one of the guys in our league (somewhere in the piney woods just east of Conroe).
There’ll be snacks, some cold frosty beverages, and probably some pre-season football on the tube. When it’s over, some of us might head out for a few rounds of Golden Tee (video golf) and a few more beverages.
Nothing too exciting. At least not compared to this league’s fantasy football draft (from the Las Vegas Craigslist):
We are looking for height-challenged female(s) (as in midget, dwarf, munchkin, little person, just don’t know the correct non-offensive terminology) to help run our fantasy football draft. We will be 10 males in a suite at the Mandalay Bay drafting for four hours on August 23th starting sometime in the late afternoon.
Your duties will be to make sure none of us run out of frosty beverages, to keep track of players taken on an oversized draft board (step stool included), and to wrestle under a glass table while either partially clothed or not clothed at all (this is why we would prefer more than one of you). Bonus points if you know something about football, know how to mix drinks, and enjoy making sure everyone is having a good time. We promise we will not degrade you by using your head for a coaster, nor will we expect any special favors as we value professionalism over anything.
Last year when I posted this ad we received an offer from a female who simply had no legs, which I determined to be cheating. So please, only true little people apply.
If interested, please respond by Friday. And don’t worry about bringing anything as we will supply beverages, glass table, and rainbow with pot of gold.
Sadly, I doubt that this guy is a joke.
I know a lot of leagues hire a good looking girl—usually from an escort service or a local men’s club — to manage their draft board (kinda Vanna White-ish, but with a bit more enthusiasm) and serve drinks.
But this? Wow. It’s hard to even really know how to respond to something like that.
