Douchebag Democrats
by Andy Borowitz | September 11, 2009

A jubilant Barney Fwank (D-MA) met with reporters today, telling them he was “ecstatic to no longer be the biggest asshole in America.”

Fwank went on to state that the overly stretched DEO “practically bent over and lubed up” when he saw me.” Fwank said that, “DEO’s outburst on Urbangrounds, today, is proof positive that I am neither the bigest asshole nor the biggest douchebag – DEO is. That DEO douche did me a solid. And, I shite you not, he ate it all up!”

DEO could not be reached for comment, as he was busy eating his own poop.

Republicans
by Andy Borowitz | September 11, 2009

A jubilant Gov. Mark Sanford met with reporters in South Carolina today, telling them he was “ecstatic to no longer be the biggest douche in this state.”

The embattled governor said he “practically danced a jig” when he saw Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC)’s outburst on television last night, adding, “That Joey boy did me a solid.”

Rep. Wilson could not be reached for comment, as aides said he was busy barking at passing cars.

Tonya Harding IS Sarah Palin´s new ghostwriter.

Sorry to break it to you, cupcake, but before Palin was nominated for VP she had a reputation for writing excellent speeches all on her own. Obviously, you agree because here you are attacking her for it. She also has a degree in journalism, bozo.

Now, let’s talk about the Sham Wow Guy: There is no doubt that he was an affirmative action admission, both as an undergraduate and in law school. His writing is atrocious. He uses every stupid cliche ad nauseum. This is the type of crap one sees in legal writing 101 by first year law students. He has hardly progressed.

As for the lying, pandering tap dancing vaudeville act known as Sarah Palin…man, you making your ghost writer earn her keep!!!

Sarah Palin-Tonya Harding 2012!

Oh, and Palin has another Facebook entry in response to barry’s b.s. and lies:

Link