Please (Don’t) Rob Me

Mashable asks, “Are we all asking to be robbed?” with the growing trend to use location-based mobile services (such as Google Buzz and Foursquare) to check into places we visit day-to-day. Which means that we are not at home.

A new website called PleaseRobMe.com does nothing more than aggregate publicly shared check-ins, but its name and purpose attempt to shed more light on the dangerous side effects of location-sharing.

From the creators of the PleaseRobme.com site:

“The danger is publicly telling people where you are. This is because it leaves one place you’re definitely not… home. So here we are; on one end we’re leaving lights on when we’re going on a holiday, and on the other we’re telling everybody on the Internet we’re not home. It gets even worse if you have ‘friends’ who want to colonize your house. That means they have to enter your address, to tell everyone where they are. Your address.. on the Internet.. Now you know what to do when people reach for their phone as soon as they enter your home. That’s right, slap them across the face.”

It’s a valid point.

And even though I’m an avid user of Foursquare — I’m not that worried about being robbed moments after I announce that I just checked into Whole Foods. For a few reasons:

• Dogs — Four of them. Three of whom weigh a combined 425 lbs. And, two of whom I have little doubt would eat you alive if you came into our home while we weren’t home. The third one would be the first to maul you if we were home and you attempted any harm to either of us. Great Danes are exceptional guard dogs. Not only do they look like a dog that you might not want to tangle with, but they were bred to be estate guard dogs. In fact, sometimes I think our Danes are disappointed that they’re not allowed to maul people that come into our home.

They might look like couch potatos, but come through that front door uninvited, and they Will. Eat. You. Alive.

• Guns — No, we haven’t taught our dogs how to shoot (yet). But we have guns in our homes. More than one of ‘em. Loaded and easily accessible. And we both know how to use them and would not hesitate to shoot you until you are dead or we are out of ammo. Which means that even if I’m checking into Taco Deli for the 4th time this week, there’s at least a 50-50 chance that my wife (and our aforementioned dogs) are home. Which means in addition to getting mauled by giant guard dogs, you are also going to get shot in the face a whole bunch of times.

• Our Neighbors — Oh, the guy who lives next door? A Travis County Sheriff’s Deputy. Which means he has a gun, too, and is allowed to use it to shoot your ass. Neighbor across the street? Retired Austin Police officer. The retired part means he’s almost always home. The Cop part means, I’ll bet he still has guns.