If this is what you see when you look in your mirror....
...and this is what you see when you look ahead...then you are driving too slow...move over into the right-hand lane. Asshole.
While having lunch today at my new very favorite Mexican (not Tex-Mex, either) restaurant in Austin, I picked up a ubiquitous copy of the far-left unhinged rag the Austin Chronicle (not to be confused with our reliably-left unhinged rag the Austin American-Statesman) to see what the local lefties have their collective panties in a bunch about this week…
Got a good chuckle out of this Letter to the Editor from Nathan L. Gibson titled Get Off Your Gas – and My Ass:
Dear Editor,
A great way to improve your gas mileage and extend the life of your break pads is to swear off tailgating. Everyone knows that pushing on the gas pedal uses gas. Anytime you push the break pedal, even the lightest tap, you have to use the gas pedal to recover to your previous speed. Both pedals increase your carbon footprint.
So what does this have to do with tailgating? There is a natural ebb and flow of traffic, a moderate slowing followed by return to the original speed. Tailgaters are constantly hitting their breaks. Courteous drivers leaving respectable distances allow this space to close slightly when the person in front slows, allow the distance to absorb the normal ebbs and flows of traffic. Their brake lights are not constantly coming on and going off like Christmas tree lights. They manage space between vehicles with only the gas pedal virtually all the time.
Watch for it on the road. Watch for those cars with constantly blinking brake lights. They are causing more drilling, more oil dependency, environmental damage, plus an occasionally case of road rage.
If you are guilty of tailgating, for the sake of the planet, please get off my ass.
To which I reply to Mr. Gibson:
…Then get the fuck out of the Left-hand lane, you douchenozzle. It’s the passing lane, also known as the fast lane. If people are up in your ass, it’s because you’re an inconsiderate asshole who doesn’t know which lane to drive in.
Besides, if you’re hypocritical faux environmental outrage were genuine, you wouldn’t be driving a car at all. Get a bicycle. Or better yet, walk wherever it is you need to haul your green-ass to, as the manufacturing of your bicycle also has an irreversible carbon footprint on our precious Mother Gaia, or whatever you enviro-weenies like to call the planet.
_____________
I also got a kick out of their endorsement page, where they claim they are endorsing all Democrat candidates (feign surprise) in state-wide races because, “we need to break up the GOP monopoly), yet endorse all Democrat (and one Green) party candidate in Travis County, with no mention of the need to “break up the monopoly) of the Democrat party here in frustratingly-liberal Austin.
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Mr. Gibson must be an occasional (not occasionally) environmentally sensitive lib, sort of like a lacto-ovo vegetarian.
If he were a full-time committed libturd, he wouldn’t need oil, he could ride the bus.
I think it’s actually in the traffic laws somewhere that if you are not passing someone[or just plain driving fast to my mind] then it’s illegal to drive in the left lane.
Of course there are so many traffic laws that don’t get enforced, “steer it and clear it” for one that it annoys the ever loving hell out of me.
‘oh no. I have a flat tire!’ then pull it over onto the shoulder you retarded jackass and change it! Instead of leaving it in the middle of the bloody road while you sit on your ass inside on the phone to AAA. Jesus Jumpin H Christ. Your car stalled on in the right lane? Lifes a bitch ain’t it? Is there a parking lot nearby? Then turn on your hazards and push the goddamn thing up into the parking lot!
Yes, it is illegal in TX to ride in the left lane when you are not passing. This is my BIGGEST pet peeve, second being people that say “I could care less” when the saying is clearly “I couldn’t care less.”
And people think I’m joking when I tell them that my dream vehicle for an everyday driver is an M1 with a full load out.
HOORAH TO NO2LIBERALS,
I LOVE UR COMMENTS. THERE’S A TOM CLANCY NOVEL THAT STARTS WITH SOME DIMWIT ASSHOLE THAT GETS A RIFLE SLUG THRU HIS HEAD WHILE “CRUISING” IN THE FAST LANE.
I AM ONE OF THOSE AGGRESSIVE DRIVERS THAT DOESN’T STAND FOR THE UTTER ARROGANCE OF PISSPOOR DRIVERS THAT DO THAT. IF 10 FLASHES OF MY HIBEAMS DON’T DO IT, THEN I GO TO THE HORN AND THE LIGHTS. SOMETIMES THAT DOESN’T WORK, BUT THEN UPON PASSING LATER I SEE THAT IT’S SOME DARKSKINNED “ETHNIC” THAT SIMPLY BELIEVES THE THE HIGHWAY BELONGS TO THEM……….OH, FOR A FIREARM.
IT’S NEVER THE DRIVER THAT WANTS TO PASS THAT IS AGGRESSIVE, IT’S THE ASSHOLE THAT WON’T MOVE OVER.
WHERE’S THE COPS WHEN YOU WANT ONE TO DO THE JOB?
The slug could learn to spell BRAKE (instead of break) correctly while he’s slowwwlllyyy getting into the right lane.
Wait…maybe that’s it. Maybe he has such an aversion to anything with the word “right”, that he refuses to drive in the Right lane. Could it be That stupid ?
I only wish I could be a fly on the wall to see his reaction to Robbie’s comment.
Douchenozzle ?…..Gross, but made me laugh out loud.
I forgot to mention in defensive driving one time the instructor pointed out that people driving Below the speed limit are a bigger road hazard than the people who are speeding….at which point 99% of the class, all together (including me), said “Then what are WE doing here ?! “
Left-lane squatters think they own the world. So what if I waste a gallon or two of gas each day on my drive into downtown Houston? I have fun fucking with those douche-nozzles with my lights, horn and hand signals. Then I go to the far right lane and speed on by.
When I get another truck I’m having a set of Truck airhorns under the hood. I’m sorely tempted to make it a set of TRAIN airhorns.
I have a Jeep with ultra bright overhead lights, anyone in the left lane going slower than me gets about 5 seconds before those brights go on. It usually does the trick.