Jul 082012
 
Jesse Jackson Jr.

You betchurass I’m the product of riding daddy’s coattails and affirmative action…

Unqualified to do anything other than ride daddy’s coattails makes Jesse Jr. perfectly qualified to serve in Congress. The only place where one can completely disappear from their job without telling anybody where they are going for more than a week — claiming they are “exhausted” — and not get fired for job abandonment.

But…again…this is Congress. So the fact that young Jesse disappeared to go to drug rehab seems to make him an even better fit for Congress (and the Democrat party):

Jesse Jackson’s talentless son Junior has just enough talent—none!—to be a congressman based exclusively on who his daddy is. And pursuant to the grand tradition of congressional scions, he seems to have disappeared on a bender and ended up in detox.

Jackson went missing last week, and his staff attributed the vanishing act to “exhaustion.” In any context other than Congress, that code word would be sufficient to get the point across that “our congressman is drunk and we don’t know where he is.” But it’s a week later, and people were still asking where their representative is, so his office made it as clear as they could in a press release yesterday:

Recently, we have been made aware that he has grappled with certain physical and emotional ailments privately for a long period of time. At present, he is undergoing further evaluation and treatment at an in-patient medical facility. According to the preliminary diagnosis from his doctors, Congressman Jackson will need to receive extended in-patient treatment as well as continuing medical treatment thereafter. We ask that you keep Congressman Jackson and his family in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult period.

All of which, of course, makes him a lock to be reelected by the idiots in his district.

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  2 Responses to “Is Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. “Resting” in Drug Rehab?”

  1. I’m guessing he’s either ‘shacked up’ with his ‘lover’,..or in rehab.

  2. I heard that he has been secretly studying Kung Fu style cake decorating at an offshore location in the Caribbean under the assumed name of Angelfood Divine jr.

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