Texas Monthly: Top 50 BBQ Joints for 2013

 Posted by on 5/20/2013  7 Responses »
May 202013
 

Every five years, Texas Monthly magazine publishes their list of the Top 50 Barbeque Joints in the World (of course, all 50 are in the great state of Texas).

Last week, they published the list (without rankings, which won’t be published until the issue hits newstands on May 23). However, via their twitter feed, we learned that Austin’s very own Aaron Franklin (Franklin Barbeque) is number 1 for this go around (rounding out the rest of the Top 4, in alphabetical order: Louie Mueller Barbecue, in Taylor; Pecan Lodge, in Dallas; and Snow’s BBQ, in Lexington).

Every five years or so (since 1997), this magazine dispatches a team of trained eaters to travel around Texas incognito, ingesting huge amounts of barbecue. Their goal is to visit as many of the state’s approximately two thousand barbecue joints as possible in order to come up with a list of the fifty best. At each joint, the eaters sample at least three meats, a couple of sides, and a dessert. In areas of high barbecue density, they may visit as many as nine places in a day. Immediately after each visit, our eaters fill out a detailed score sheet. The final score considers intangibles like setting, service, and history, but mainly it is based on the meat. The brisket score counts the most. This time, eighteen places from the 2008 top fifty made it onto the list. (The joints with asterisks are ones that were featured on the list in 2008.)

Of course, with any list like this the fun is in debating the deserving ommissions, and the “how the hell did that place make the list?”

Glaring Omissions:

Smitty’s Meat Market, Lockhart — Lockhart has long been considered the BBQ capital of Texas (more on that later in this post), based on the strength of their Big Three Q joints (Smitty’s, Black’s, and Kreuz Market). While Black’s makes a well-deserved return to the list, the omission of Smitty’s is a slap in the face to the tradition of smoked meats in Central Texas.

I’ll be the first to admit that the quality and consistency at Smitty’s has slipped over the last several years. And, if I’m in Lockhart, I’m much more likely to find myself at Black’s. I would no longer put Smitty’s in my Top 5, or probably not even in my Top 10. But to exclude them entirely for the Top 50? Insane.

Micklethwait Craft Meats, Austin — Much like Franklin’s, John Mueller’s, and La Barbeque, Micklethwait’s is a recent addition to the Austin BBQ circuit. And I fully believe, having eaten several times at each of the Austin Big 3, that had Micklethwait been opened a few months earlier, it would have been in the top 50 as well.

How the Hell Did They Get on The List?

Lamberts Downtown Barbecue, Austin — WTF? Not only is Lambert’s not a BBQ (they are a restaurant that also serves BBQ in addition to a bunch of other things), but the BBQ they do serve? Average at best. Their shrimp and grits? Amazing. Good, if not overpriced, oysters.

Is Austin the New Lockhart?

Up until about 3 years ago, I wouldn’t have put a single Q joint in Austin on this list. But with the well-deserved praise that Franklin has brought to the Capital City, the competition has stepped up. La Barbecue and John Mueller Meat Company, each with their own ties to Franklin’s are easily just as good (and in the case of the hot guts at each of the Mueller sibling’s trailers, even better) as Franklin’s…but without the ridiculous 2-hour wait.

I’m an old school BBQ purist and devotee to the German-influenced style of smoking meats that is the trademark of Central Texas BBQ, and I have to admit that the Austin Big 3 are easily better than the Lockhart Big 3. Not collectively, but each of them is better than any of the three in Lockhart.

And then you throw in the superb meats at Stiles Switch BBQ & Brew, Micklethwait Craft Meats, Live Oak, and Blue Ox? Each, in their own right, some of the most perfectly smoked cow and pig I’ve ever shoved down my pie hole? And I’m going to go ahead and proclaim that Austin has indeed supplanted Lockhart as the true Mecca of Texas BBQ.

My BBQ Quest

Once the list came out, I decided that my goal would be to hit all 50 Q joints on the list within a year. I started this quest on Friday by hitting John Mueller’s Meat Company. It wasn’t the best meat I’ve ever had from John’s pit — but it was still better than anything 99% of the BBQ world could ever produce on their best day.

I’ll start a new post with my review of John Mueller’s once the actual rankings are posted.

What’s your favorite Q in Texas? Thoughts on this year’s list?

Below the fold is the list of 50, listed alphabetically by city. Continue reading »

Illegal Immigrant, Drunk on Prospect of Amnesty and a Gallon of Tequila, Kills Houston Sheriff

 Posted by on 5/20/2013  10 Responses »
May 202013
 
Andres Munos - cop-killing illegal immigrant

Illegal immigrant, Andres Munos: is this what it takes to finally get deported back to Mexico (or Honduras, or Guatemala, or whatever third-world pisshole he came from)?

But mostly from the tequila…

Few stories infuriate me off more than this one.

Few incidents make me madder at the pro-open-borders politicians who are responsible for letting shit like this happen in our country.

Sunday morning, just outside of Houston, TX, Sgt. Dwayne Polk, 47, a 16-veteran of the Harris County Sheriff’s Office, was killed by a drunk driver who ran a red light and drove his pickup truck into the driver’s side door of Sheriff Polk’s SUV.

The driver, Andres Munos, 22, is an illegal immigrant (or as the PC-pussies at the Houston Chronicle put it, he “lives in Houston but is not a U.S. citizen”). That’s bad enough that this illegal piece of shit killed a cop. That’s all on him and not on the politicians who refuse to secure our borders.

Oh wait…it is on them.

Munos had been arrested once before, in 2012, for DWI and and unlawfully carrying a weapon. Was he deported then? Nope, he served 30 days in county jail and then was released back into our community.

A drunk-driving, illegal-gun wielding illegal alien that we had in custody. Was simply released back onto our streets.

I wonder how long he’ll be in jail this time — for killing a cop while driving drunk? A year? Maybe 2? And then I’m sure our (in)justice department will simply return him to the streets of Houston, rather than deport this worthless piece-of-shit back to the third-world shithole he came from.

Ted Cruz Mocks Obama’s “Jobs” Trip to Texas

 Posted by on 5/9/2013  3 Responses »
May 092013
 

Reason #6209 that I’m thankful that Sen. Ted Cruz is my senator:

This guy gets it.

I hope he does run for President in 2016, before the Senate corrupts him (as it appears to do to anybody who stays there long enough).

Obama is what we call “all hat, no cattle.” Or, more accurately, “ass hat and no cattle.”

Will Franklin has a little friendly advise for Obama while he’s in town:

While Michael Quinn Sullivan points out the obvious:

As do others:

State Senators Taking My Money to Feed Your Children Are Not Heroes

 Posted by on 5/8/2013  5 Responses »
May 082013
 

From Twitter earlier…

It started with this guy calling a couple of Democrat state Senators “heroes” — a term I found not befitting of anybody in the Texas Lege.

And I said as much:

And the rest:

I wasn’t able to get back to Jason right away — my lovely wife is out of town on business, and I’m on solo-parent duty this week. Which means I had to feed and bath the boy, read him a few books, and then put him to bed.

(that last one should have read “It is NOT and should not be the role of government to feed your children”)

I’ll update if Jason has some brilliant rebuttal as to explain how a politican who takes my money and gives it to somebody else is a “hero.”

EXECUTION WATCH: Carroll Joe Parr (TX)

 Posted by on 5/6/2013  77 Responses »
May 062013
 
Carroll Joe Parr

Carroll Joe Parr

UPDATE: He’s dead. Real dead.

___________________________________________

  • Thug: Caroll Joe Parr (25 at time of offense)
  • Date of Execution: May 07, 2013
  • Date of Crime: January 11, 2003
  • Victim(s): Joel Dominguez (2003) and Ronnie Zarazua (2001)
  • Last Meal: A huge serving of Pentobarbital.
  • Final Words:  In the seconds before being injected with a lethal dose of pentobarbital, Carroll Joe Parr told his victim’s wife she should talk to her brother to learn “the truth about what happened to your husband.” Then, in what he called a “statement to the world,” Parr said he was “in the midst of the truth.” “I am good. I am straight,” he said. He added that he wanted his “partners” or friends to know that he would “be back” like the Arnold Schwarzenegger “Terminator” film character. “I’m on my way back. … These eyes will close, but they will be opened again,” Parr said before telling his family he loved them and thanking his spiritual adviser.

On the night of the murder, Caroll Parr and Earl Whiteside bought drugs from Joel Dominguez and Mario Chavez outside of a convenience store. Parr and Whiteside returned a short time later, both with pistols, and robbed the drugs dealers to get their money back. After pistol whipping Dominguez, Parr shot him in the head, killing him. Chavez was much luckier, as Whiteside only shot him in the hand.

Parr is lifetime loser, with an escalating history of violence, to include the 2001 murder of Ronnie Zarazua, who was set to testify against one of Parr’s friends.

During the sentencing phase, Parr acknowledged that he would likely engage in future violent acts.

Last year, Parr asked his attorney to cancel any and all appeals, stating that he wanted to be executed as soon as possible to “end his suffering” and to ease the burden on Texas tax payers.

Tomorrow evening he’s going to get his wish.

Is the Conservative Tax Pledge About To Go Up in Smoke?

 Posted by on 5/6/2013  No Responses »
May 062013
 

This 83rd Lege, lead by the super-RINO Speaker Joe Straus has been a remarkably disappointing champion of Conservative ideas and policy. Instead, Straus has ensured a session filled with capitulation to Democrats and a nearly pathological fear of a difficult debate on tough issues important to Texans.

And now we have a Conservative House doing their damned best to spike the spending cap and raise taxes on Texans.

Michael Quinn Sullivan at Texans for Fiscal Responsibility has been doing his damnedest to keep us informed and fighting on our behalf:

For a party that uses the elephant as their mascot some Republicans have a decidedly short memory when it comes to promises about taxes, while a few others seem more like donkeys in disguise than real pachyderms.

“Read my lips: no new taxes.” That’s what George H.W. Bush said in 1988. Four years later, he lost re-election in large part after breaking that promise.

More than 1,100 officeholders around the nation (including 67 in the Texas House) have signed the Taxpayer Protection Pledge — and, with only a few notable exceptions, they have kept that promise to their constituents.

Now, Big Tobacco hopes Texas Republicans will break the pledge to hurt competitors. A decade ago, Big Tobacco settled a massive lawsuit brought by the states and agreed to a tax-hike to fund health care initiatives. Since then, Big Tobacco has been working to make competitors — companies who weren’t sued — to pay higher taxes. Big Tobacco and a few lackey legislators have decided to impose a tax hike on small competitors in the name of “fairness” and — as one moderate GOPer calls it — a “level playing field.”

(Moderates only see “fairness” and “level playing fields” when taxes are raised, not lowered.)

The Texas Public Policy Foundation‘s Action team puts it this way: HB3536 “is an unjustified expansion of government” that “imposes several new taxes… Non-settling manufacturers should not be burdened with fees simply because other manufacturers settled and are now at a competitive disadvantage.”

In fairness, the Texas House Republican Caucus’ policy committee has voted to oppose the legislation. It’s the usual crowd of GOP moderates looking to expand taxes.

Realizing they have a problem on their hands with violating the Taxpayer Protection Pledge, the handful of Big Tobacco Republicansare running in two directions.

On the silly side is State Rep. Larry Gonzales (R-Round Rock), who distinguishes himself regularly by shilling for big spending on Hollywood subsidies. He nonsensically wrote on Facebook today that the Taxpayer Protection Pledge shouldn’t be considered because these tax “talks” started four years ago, long before the pledge… Let’s see, the pledge started in 1986, and Mr. Gonzales signed it in 2010 when he was campaigning for office… Oh, I see…

The more intellectually honest legislators pushing the Big Tobacco agenda say they would be willing to offer an amendment shifting new revenues into the “property tax relief fund.” Sounds good… except that wouldn’t actually result in any property tax relief. That fund was established in 2006 so the Gross Margins Tax could push property tax rates down to a set rate. Any new monies won’t actually lower your property taxes.

As Grover Norquist of Americans for Tax Reform told me yesterday, that’s like selling the same horse twice.

When it comes to promises about cutting and opposing taxes, some GOPers are just blowing smoke while others are doing some horse-trading. With either group, taxpayers end up getting burned.

What Media Bias? — NRA Hosting Annual Meeting in Houston, Local Media Focuses on Anti-Gun NutJobs

 Posted by on 5/3/2013  4 Responses »
May 032013
 

The NRA is hosting the 142nd Annual Meetings and Exhibits at the George R. Brown Convention Center in the heart of downtown Houston this weekend.

More than 100K attendees are expected to take part (I, regretfully, won’t be one of them, as my 1) my lovely wife is going out of town for a week on Monday, and I want to spend the weekend at home with her and the boy, and 2) my motorcycle needs some maintenance work this weekend). But leave it to the local Liberal media to put their own Liberal spin on it and to capture the images and perspectives that align with their own anti-NRA and anti- gun narrative:

anti-gun nutjob at NRA meeting

So the story isn’t “100K freedom-loving patriots show up to NRA event”, but rather “3 kooks stand on the sidewalk?” 

What media bias, indeed.

Odd Lunch Couple

 Posted by on 5/3/2013  3 Responses »
May 032013
 

Sitting at the bar for lunch yesterday at Twin Peaks (you know the type of place: cute girls in small uniforms, lots of cleavage, lots of ass, lots of bare, flat stomachs…but the foods pretty damned good here).

In walks this couple who sits down next to me at the bar — old guy, unkempt grey-hair and about a week’s worth of unshaved grey beard stubble, faded-maroon sweatshirt. If he was holding a cardboard sign and standing on a street corner, you wouldn’t think him out of place.

Had to be knocking on 70s door, if he hadn’t already been let in. Though living hard can make a man age faster than the actual years he’s lived on this rock.

The young lady with him looked more like an employee of this place, or at least of the nearest strip club. Petite, but even under her grey sweatshirt you can tell she’s blessed with the kind of firm rack that only youth and really good plastic surgeons can take credit for. Straight, long brown hair. No makeup. There’s still a stamp on her left hand from whichever club she was at the night before.

If I had to guess, she hasn’t been home or showered yet from whatever adventure she was on last night.

Didn’t seem like they knew each other too well, but were definitely having lunch together. But I couldn’t help notice — and laugh to myself — as the obvious age differences started revealing themselves in humorous little ways.

Like when she ordered a bloody mary, extra spicy. When the bartender asked her for her ID (yeah, she looked that young), the old guy said, “I’m her I.D.” The bartender still insisted on seeing it. Old guy says he’ll have the same, but asked the bartender to make it “a little bit less spicy  because of my ulcers.” As his perky friend sucked long and deep from the plastic straw, gramps nursed a few sips before asking the bartender for a bit more tomato juice. “Too spicy.”

I nearly spit iced tea through my nose when I heard him ask her, “Have I shown you the picture of my new toilet?”

Now, that’s the kind of question I’d expect him to ask his old buddies while they’re sitting around playing dominoes and drinking Pabst Blue Ribbons from an igloo ice chest. Not something I’d guess a 21-year old girl is all that interested in. Unless it’s made of pure gold. But even then…just maybe.

And then he had to have his Lolita lunch partner find the picture for him on his new iPhone because, “I still don’t know how to find stuff on here.”

Well…can’t blame the old guy for trying, I guess.

Edgar Casas — Another Illegal Immigrant Who Came to America to Make a Better Life for Himself. And to Rape Our Women and Children.

 Posted by on 4/30/2013  27 Responses »
Apr 302013
 
Edgar Casas

Edgar Casas — raping the women and children that American sexual deviants are too lazy to rape.

UPDATE – Well,  I was wrong. Casas never did make it to back to Mexico (too bad, then he would have been there problem, not ours). He was arrested last night.

___________________

Attention Austin/Central Texas people: have you seen this Mexican?

But mostly to rape our women and children.

Edgar Casas is accused of sexually assaulting at least eight women around Austin and is also wanted for the aggravated sexual assault of a child.

According to Austin Police Department, the suspect is described as a Hispanic man in his 20s. He is between 5’4” to 5’7” and has a thin build. He has short, dark, possibly wavy hair and a light complexion. Oh, and he doesn’t speak English — just Spanish.

You know who else is typically 1) in their 20s, 2) in the United States, and 3) can’t speak English? Illegal immigrants, that’s who. Just remember, if Obama and Rubio get their way, this pervert will get amnesty AND welfare. The better with which to fund his raping lifestyle (on your dime).

So, good luck finding Edgar, Chief Acevedo — he’s already back home in Mexico (where he’ll likely continue raping women and children).

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